EXPLAINING CIVIL WAR!
As most of you know, Civil War is gonna be the next Captain America movie and you all know it comes down to Cap vs. Tony. But what other details might be involved in the story? Well, in this post, I will explain everything you need to know about Civil War before the film!
So the New Warriors (Team of Teenagers/Young Adults who were once really popular) are doing this Reality TV Show where they fight super villains on National Television. They decided to jump this group of villains in suburbia without Avengers or other big heroes support. One of the villains happens to be Nitro, who has the power of exploding. Course for this event, he’s been hopped up on steroids (or something else that made his powers 10 times stronger) that when Namorita of the New Warriors tackled him, he was like “I’m being oppressed by the Matriarchy!” and KABOOM!!!! He blows up, the school next to them blows up, the New Warriors are all killed except for Speedball (we’ll get back to him) and EVERYTHING IS AWFUL!!!
So then the Government gets all mad and goes “YOU SUPERHEROES ARE A LOOSE CANNON!” And Tony Stark gets spat on by one of the mothers who lost her son and this affects Tony really hard (A lot of people forget this part). The general public HATES superheroes now as they blew up kids on national TV.
WHAT THE HEART OF THE STORY IS…
This is when the Government goes “Superheroes must register with the Government (SHIELD) or else they will be hunted down and thrown into prison!“ Now, JUST TO MAKE THIS ABSOLUTELY CLEAR, signing up with the Government did mean that your Secret Identity was no more, but THAT’S NOT WHAT CIVIL WAR WAS ABOUT!!! It was about the idea that you would become government agents. The Government would tell you who your enemies are! You would also be trained and paid, but generally, the Government would control what you did even if you wanted to or not (See Cloud 9)
Captain America said “FUCK THAT” and says Superheroes should be able to police themselves and not be controlled by the Government. Iron Man believes that superheroes should be controlled. And that’s why the two butt heads.
After Captain America says fuck you to Maria Hill (In a totally awesome way), people started to go either Captain America or Iron Man.
For Captain America, they are Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Hercules, Goliath, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, the Young Avengers, Falcon, Daredevil, Punisher (Guess how that ends up?), Cloak and Dagger, Diamondback (Best Captain America Girl, Fuck you if you disagree), Wolverine, and quite a few others.
For Iron Man, he had Black Widow, She-Hulk, Sentry, Carol Danvers, Cassie Lang (Switches midway in Civil War from Cap’s side in a move that makes a ton of Young Avenger fans hate her), Wonder Man, Hank Pym, Mr. Fantastic, Songbird (Best Marvel Hero, I will fight you) Wasp and most of all, SPIDER-MAN! (I’ll get into more details with Iron Man’s side as the story progresses. It involves the Thunderbolts and a ton of villains)
Neutral during this whole thing are: Dr. Strange (Cause he had to worry about the reality of the world stuff), The Thing (He doesn’t like fighting friends) and the X-Men (Because the X-Men just had a school bus of Children blow up on them and they don’t need petty squabbling of other heroes in their lives!)
Overview of the story:
So Cap’s objective is to run out the Government’s funds so they say “Fuck this noise, let’s stop this act” thing, while Iron Man’s goal is to capture all non-registered heroes.
Iron Man’s big first step is to get Spider-Man to reveal he’s Peter Parker on TV to try to convince everyone to join the registration. As you can tell, this is a very stupid thing for Peter Parker to do and ends awfully (Aunt May gets shot by Kingpin’s goon!)
At a major fight with both sides fighting, Iron Man reveals his trump card, A CLONE CYBORG OF THOR!! (Thor was dead at the time cause Thor dies a lot in comics) Of course, being a fictional story, the clone goes wild and kills Goliath, a size changing hero. (Goliath also happened to be black and also wasn’t being used at all in any recent comics. So they brought back a black hero just to kill him. SMOOOOOTH). This sent Cap’s team running, but it also made Invisible Woman and Spider-Man realize they are on the wrong side (which ironically convinced Cassie Lang that being with Cap was a bad decision and made people hate her.)
Iron Man realized he was running out of big guns, so he took the team called the Thunderbolts (Ex-villains who became heroes and are my favorite superhero team) and forced a shit ton of super villains onto the team with nanomachines controlling them. (CAUSE THAT’S NOT WRONG!) Also put onto that team was Speedball (the New Warriors guy who survived I mentioned earlier) who now goes by PENANCE and has a SPIKY SUIT FILLED WITH NAILS AND HE’S SO EDGY AND BROODING AND EDGY!!!
Course, Spider-Man switching sides led to a brawl and also joining Cap was the Punisher cause Iron Man was getting villains on his side. Punisher was then ejected from Cap’s side when several villains tried to join Cap, but Punisher blasted their brains out and Cap beats Frank up. (Thank God he didn’t shoot Diamondback)
Long Story short (Too Late), Iron Man has been keeping all the captured heroes in a super prison in another dimension. (YEAH! HE WENT THERE!) Cap springs out all the heroes (Actually, Hulkling did) and SUPER MASSIVE FIGHT! It spills onto the streets, Hercules smashes Cyborg Thor, Namor is helping Cap, and Captain America is about to beat Iron Man!
…and then civilians tackle Captain America, and Cap realizes he fucked up as their fight has damaged most of the city around them. He surrenders and Iron Man wins. This government vs. renegade heroes things would continue for several more years after this story.
…Oh, and Captain America gets shot by Crossbones and dies (Not really cause…I’m not gonna say cause it’s REALLY STUPID)
In the end?
Civil War ended up being a MEGA HIT. Because of this story, every year after this continued with another event. Almost every book tied into this conflict and years after. Iron Man was hated by many fans, the New Warriors never recovered from the opening pages of this event, Spider-Man then went into One More Day to undo the damage of his identity revealed, Thunderbolts would now always be a prison team, Hero vs. Hero events would keep happening, and now this event will be Captain America 3!
Personally? This is the story that got me into reading more mainstream comics, but I also think it’s overrated. As much as it’s built up, it does seem like it’s trying to hard to be edgy and topical. This story also came out in the height of he Bush years of office which I think influenced a lot of the writing.
Still, this story is what it is. Love it or hate it, this is one of the bigger Marvel stories out there.
If anything this post does, I hope it informs you what the Civil War movie will be all about. Thank you for reading.
(Annhilation was better anyways)